Why reading a Personal Development Book Everyday can change your life

Personal Development is like taking a shower a day….

In 2004 I didn’t really read books.  I read at school but once I left then I didn’t really think about it.

OK, I may have read a Raymond Feist Book once or twice like the Magician but I didn’t read to learn, only for enjoyment when I felt like it.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to read.  In fact I had to read a lot for work.  I was consulting in the software industry and much of my time was spent either creating contracts or reading them.  Not much fun really.

I just didn’t see the point in reading.

Then something changed.  If you have read my story then you know I was in a pretty bad place when a friend helped me.  I was nearly bankrupt, about to lose my house, drinking heavily and did not have good relationships.  I was sad and unhappy.  After a good career in the software business I went into my own business and lost almost all my money, and some I didn’t have.

If you have ever been in the same place you know how it feels.  It make you feel ill.  That’s the best way I can put it.  Not only do you have no money but you still have to pretend that everything is fine to those who said you could never do it in the first place.  There is nothing worse than that person in town saying “So how is your business” and me saying with a smile “Oh fine”.

But really I just want to go home cry. Seriously cry.  Cry my eyes out.

It was at this point I was ready to learn something new, a new way of thinking.  Luckily for me someone was about to give me that new way.  He was a successful guy and knew that I needed something to make a change.

So what did he give me?

Well some personal development books.  Nothing “too deep” to start with.  You see he was smart, and he could see that I was the type of guy that would say “Oh I don’t need those self help books, they are all just crap anyway”.  So he gave me Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad.

This is more business then “self help” and it was exactly what I needed.  Yes the book is excellent and it changed the way I see business but more than anything it got me in the mode of reading to learn.

That’s exactly what my friend wanted it to do!  Over the next few weeks he started to give me books that were more about looking at me rather than business.  Books like How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Magic Of Thinking Big, Positive Personality Profiles.  And it worked.  I started to change.  I started to see that many of my problems were just challenges and that I was causing them!

I also learnt that I wasn’t quite the amazing business man I thought I was (at 25!).

Then something great happened.  I started to find books to read, I couldn’t read enough!  In fact I think I can honestly say that for 2 years I must have read everyday for at least 10 minutes.  There might have been the odd day but however I felt I read.  It didn’t matter what time of day it was, before I slept I read.

This completely change me as a person and everything else changed with it.  My relationships got better, I met some great new people, I slowly got out of debt, I felt good about myself and I actually stopped drinking for 2 years.  I do drink now but back then I was alcoholic.

You see it’s not about NEEDING help from these self help or personal development books it’s just about realising that there might be information out there that I don’t know.  It’s being honest and realising we don’t always know everything!

About 2 years into reading these books I met an old school friend in town.  Obviously I was very excited about how these books had changed my life and I was very open about mentioning this to EVERYONE I met!

Oh well, boy did he have a different view!

He started off into this great big speech about how all Self help and Personal Development books are just brain washing and how they are just a load of crap.  I was really surprised at his reaction.  There I was just saying how much I have enjoyed them and here is was saying that I have been brainwashed!

Well, to be frank with you, I am fairly communicative myself when I feel like I should be and argued back that they are just there to help and you can take what works for you etc.  Not very Personally Developed!

Do you think he felt the same after our “conversation” or had I sold the idea of reading these to him?

Yes guessed right.  He went away thinking I was stupid and that those books were worse than ever.

By the way if you want to know what I thought about the brainwashing argument look at this post Personal Development Books are just brainwashing.

This wasn’t the only time I had someone tell me something just as negative.  It got me wondering why.  After thinking about this and talking to to others I came to the conclusion there it could be many things.  Mainly probably due to fear but also lack of understanding about what these books really are.

All they are is how to books, or information books.  Much like you get when you buy a new car or DVD player.  Really the are nothing more than that.  But they key is they are about changing your life not how to set up the DVD.

Have you ever read a text book on a subject?  Maybe for business or work?  Then that is exactly the same.

These books give you more ideas and knowledge about particular subjects only most of them are about people.

A new process

As I said, after about two years of reading every day I felt I had changed almost completely.  I was still me, just a better more happy me.  In fact many people commented about how different I was and for the first time in my life complete strangers would comment on how nice I was.  Isn’t that good!

Well I got a little complacent and stopped reading every day.  You can guess what I am going to say?

Things changed back a bit.  Not completely to where I was but I noticed myself slipping back into some of the old ways.  People would annoy me more, I wouldn’t be as “In the Present” as I would have like to.  Nothing like before but I knew I needed to reading again.

Is that a crutch?

No way, not at all.  It’s like taking a shower.  If you didn’t do it every day you would start to smell.  It’s the same with reading.  If you do a little a day your mind is always thinking about it.

We all have busy lives so we need the reminders that these books give.

That’s why reading everyday can change your life.  Just think if you could read 10 pages a day how many books you would read in a couple of months?

I know people who read a book a week and they are some of the most successful people I know.  I heard a very successful speaker once say: -

“Books give you knowledge, knowledge gives you confidence, confidence creates action, and actions creates results”

I know this is true as I have felt this myself.  I dare you to pick up a book and read everyday for 1 month and see how that changes your life.

Matt

The lost generation

This has not much to do with Personal Development but it has a great message.

Personal Development is just Brain Washing

“Yeah, I know all about that Personal Development rubbish, it’s all just brainwashing anyway!”

Ever heard someone say this?  Perhaps to you?

Great!  You know why I think that is great?  Because I 100% agree with them!  Personal Development is just brainwashing!

Yep you heard me right.  I am saying it now, Personal Development is just brainwashing.  Ok, don’t worry I have not gone mad!

Let me be clear here, I DON”T agree that Personal Development is rubbish but I do agree it is brainwashing.  That’s exactly what is it.  It clears your brain of all the crap you have been putting into it.  All the negative, all the thoughts that keep you from achieving your goals, all the times someone has told you, you are a loser.  Every “No” you have had as a salesperson, every bad conversation that went the wrong way and upset you and the other person.

Personal Development (Self Help, Self Development) cleans it out.

Most of the people who tell you Personal Development is brainwashing don’t realise what they are saying. What many don’t know is that we are brainwashed all the time!  Just that type of brainwashing isn’t by choice.  Newspapers, TV, people, the internet etc all brainwash us all day long.

I was going to a meeting the other day and while waiting in the foyer I noticed there was big LCD screen above the receptionist.  The sound was on and I could hear it very clearly.  Do you know what they were playing on it?  The news.  It was on a news channel!

No I don’t know about you buy have you seen how those work?  All they do is have the same news on all day long.  I wondered how that receptionist felt at the end of the day.  That negative content would be going into her brain subconsciously without her even wanting it to.

As we do the activities we do on a daily basis we are constantly being given brainwashing messages.  On the radio in the car, road advertising, the newspaper you read all have messages in them.

Have you noticed how cars have the name of the brand stuck on them?  Why is that?  It’s so we know what it is so we can go and buy it!  They don’t do it to make the car look good.  Normally the badge looks odd, not really in keeping with the car.

Even seeing people in different clothes can give us messages about what we might want to buy.

Don’t be fooled by the negative

So many people I have met think that the entire Personal Development industry is a rip off.  They say that people who write self help books are just looking to make a profit.  Again I would agree with that.  They are looking to make a profit, like any good business person but large share of them are also looking to help people.

Sure, if they write a good book and it sells they will make a lot of money.  Just ask Jack Canfield.

But so what?  If a book helps me then I am very happy to buy it.  The same would go for a text book on any subject.

If you find yourself in conversation with someone about this who believes that Personal Development is a big con then I suggest you walk away.  They are not really interested to hear what you have to say and just want to tell you what they “know”.  If you really do have talk to them just ask them this: -

“Have you ever read a book (Listened to CD etc) that has shown you how to do something?  Maybe a text book at school?”  They may not be honest and say no.  But you know as well as they do that they have read a book that has helped them.  That then is a Personal Development book.

As I said I wouldn’t bother even doing this but if you have to then it can help.

Remember, this is your life and you can read what you like!

Matt – Personal Development Fan

Success – The secret to success

I am working on several projects with some friends right now.  Mostly they are projects on the internet.  We are putting lots of work in to make them a success.

The truth is we have no idea if they are actually going to be successful on not!  Obviously we have a good idea that they will but really until we launch it is really just a best estimate.

So why do all the work with no guarantee?

Well if you never try then you will never succeed.  If you never want to fail then do nothing and try nothing.

And that is how you get successful.  What? is it that easy?  Yes that is it. There is nothing more to it.  You just need to try things and make them happen.

OK, so is this article finished then?  Well no.  If you didn’t read any further and just took that advice literally then I know you would succeed.  The fact is that no one reading will!

Human nature means that no one really ever does.

The answer to the first question “How do you get successful” is not really that simple.  It has more elements to it.  If you are now thinking “Oh, so this is going to be complicated” then you will be pleased to know it is not.  Interestingly it is very simple.  You just need to know how to be successful and apply what you know.

When I started Lifeturnaroundnow.com I wanted to create a website that helped people.  I went through a life turning stage and I thought that other people would want to know how I did it.  I completely changed my life and thought that if I helped just one other person do the same then the site would be a success.  The site is about Personal Development at this is a good description of what it covers.

Did I know it would work?

No, not even sure I could do it.

Ok so I didn’t know it would work, I had no idea how to do it…then why do it?

This goes back to what I said before.  You just have to get out there and do it.  If it fails, do it again with the lessons you learnt.

The others elements of being successful have to do with the “Why” instead of the “how”.  Have you ever heard the saying: -

“People who know how always work for those who know why”.

Let me show you some examples.

When Mr Henry Ford became successful with the Model T Ford many crticised him.  I am not going to go into why but most successful people are crticised at some point.  The criticism got so bad that someone said he didn’t have any qualifications and would not even be able to answer basic high school questions.

Now I know this doesn’t seem that bad but back then when someone crticised you in such a public way it was an insult you had to respond to.  In a paper someone challenged Mr Ford to answer these questions publically.  Mr Ford accepted.

Now it was common knowledge that Ford didn’t have these qualifications so the public were really interested to know how he was going to manage this test.

Well, whatever we know about Ford, one thing for sure is that he was a big thinker.

When they had him come into the court room to answer the questions, Ford also brought with him his team of advisors.  Accountants, Lawyers, Technicians.  Every time he was asked a question he was unable to answer he asked him team to answer for him!

Of course for the people conducting the questions this was not a fair test.  But Ford had made his point.  He didn’t need to know the answers.  He had a team around him who did that for him.  He knew “Why” and they knew “How”.

Let’s look at a more recent example.  Jeff Bezos.  Do you know him?  He is the guy who started Amazon.  Did you also know Jeff was very successful on Wall Street before he started his business?  If you did you may think (like I did) that this is the reason Amazon is successful.  Well it makes sense.  He already had lots of money, probably knew all the people he needed to know and was successful.

Well if you thought that like I did you would be wrong.  Jeff was all of those things but that didn’t matter when he started Amazon.

So how did Jeff Bezos start Amazon?  Well he was sick and tired of working on Wall Street.  He didn’t want to do that any longer and really wanted to start his own business.  The challenge was that Jeff had always worked for a company.  He didn’t really know how to start a business.  And what would he start it in?

Well as the story goes Jeff one day realised he could start a business selling books on the internet.  Remember he had no experience in books, the internet or running a business!

So with this idea the first thing he did was go to California to a book convention to learn as much about the publishing world as he could.  Next he found out about selling products on the internet.

This was a guy who knew about business on Wall Street but had no experience in either books or the internet.

Jeff knew the “why”.

He needed the money to start the business.  This was a challenge.  Jeff had some himself but not enough to get the business off the ground.  So while he was going to California to the publisher convention he went to his parents and asked for them to give him the money he needed.  Now these were not wealthy people.  They gave Jeff all their savings based on his belief that the idea was going to work.  They also had no knowledge of selling books or the Internet.

Well you probably know the next part.  Jeff has built one of the most well-known and successful companies on the Internet.

So, you see it is not really the “how” that makes you a success but the “why”.  If you need a “how” then it’s the “why” that you should know!

Am I saying that you just need to believe in something enough for it to work?  Well no.  It is possible, but really there is more that we have to know.

Let’s say you are looking to start a business.  You have a great idea, you know it will work, you believe it will work but you also need to do more.

Jeff didn’t just believe his idea would work he went and discovered if it would.  He went to the conference and also met with Internet experts.  He asked them what to do, how to do it.  He took their advice.

I didn’t just start my website with an idea.  I went and found people who knew about running a successful website and learnt from them.

This rule applies to anything you are looking to achieve.  If you want to me a sportsperson then you need to believe you can be the best and find someone who can teach you how to be the best.

So success is  = Believe + Work + Knowledge

I go to a Ju Jitsu class and my instructor is a Black Belt in Karate, Kickboxing and Ju Jitsu.  He was also the UK Middleweight Kick Boxing champion.

He told me that he had lots of belief to make it and win the belt but didn’t have the knowledge.  That is why he trained with one of the best coaches.  Together they won the belt.

If you are looking for the secret to Success then this is it.  It’s the same secret that is used by anyone who has achieved anything amazing.  There is no more to it than this.

Does Personal Development Really Work?

This is a topic I have wanted to write about for a while.  I guess I wanted to voice my opinion as I have read some interesting views and articles on this.

I obviously don’t have the final answer but I will give my thoughts and ideas on it.  As always, it would be great to hear your thoughts on this also.  The answer to this will be personal, rather than one for all.

So let’s really get into the question and see if we can come up with a tangible answer.

If you have read my story here then you know that I had dropped to a low point in my life.  Financially and emotionally I was beaten.  I still had something deep within me but I wasn’t in the right state of mind to start over again.  I won’t go into the story here but essentially I was given a couple of great books and that started a life of reading and listening AND applying as much as I could.  Essentially I changed my life, or I should say the information I took in helped me change my life.

So I am an example of someone that Personal Development has really ‘worked’ for.  But this is only a small part of the story.  It might be ‘working for me now’ but what if I stop reading or listening or going to seminars?  Will Personal Development still work if you stop putting the effort into making it work?

What if I stopped wanting it to work?

And that is the real question we should be asking.  Not Does Personal Development work but how does it work?  I am not trying to trick you into reading this with the first title.  What I am trying to get to is if we take it that personal development does work then why does it work.  If it doesn’t then we don’t need to discuss that here!

Like the saying goes “It will work if you work it”.  That is right for so many things.  I remember in my career of software sales, a manager telling me that the sales process will work if you put the effort in.  Then when I was involved in a Multi Level Marketing Company a successful speaker saying “The system will work if you work it”.

It’s the same in everything in life.  Often it’s your belief and effort that makes ‘it’ work.

What about a Marriage?  Isn’t that the same?  I always think it’s odd when I hear someone say ‘my marriage didn’t work’  What does that really mean? It means, sadly, that neither side put enough effort to make it work.  They may not have wanted to which is fine, it’s just the reality is that once that decision is made effort is not put in.

Fitness is the same.  You can be given the best fitness plan created by a very fit sportsperson but unless you WANT it to work and put the effort it in won’t work.

And that’s really the point.  Personal Development works if you want it to work.  It doesn’t do it on it’s own.  You need to be involved in the process.  It is all fine and dandy reading 100’s of books, going to seminars and listening to audio but you have to WANT to make it work and start applying what you have learnt.

How do I make Personal Development Work for me?

This was the kind of question I was asking myself back when I started reading Personal Development Books.  The books I was given were Magic Of Thinking Big and Rich Dad Poor Dad.

Two great books that made a huge impact.  Once I stared to read these my mind changed, it changed from the ‘Poor me’ mentality to the ‘Get up off your backside and get out there and do something!’  I think this is key.  I was already someone who wanted to achieve, I believed I was going to do something great all my life it’s just right at that moment I was feeling sorry for myself.  Those books gave me the mental restart I needed.

But I was looking for it anyway.  I wanted to be kicked up the backside, I wanted to be told I was feeling sorry for myself and I wanted to get out there again and start making it happen.

As I mentioned above you have to want it to work for you, really believe it is going to work.  So once you have this you then need the next thing…..and that is – effort and the knowledge this will take time.

I give personal development books to people all the time.  I just suggest they read them and if they do that is fantastic.  Sometimes they come back to me and say ‘I read your book, didn’t like it much.  Don’t think it has helped me’  That’s interesting.  Interesting because I am normally giving them a book that has sold all over the world in multiple languages.  So were all the people who read it reading something different?  No.  The person I gave it to might not have been ready to ‘hear’ what the book was saying.  They might not be in the right place just now.

So I normally just smile and take it back off them and suggest they try another.  I know they will remember something from that book and perhaps when they are ready to apply they will want to read more.

What makes the difference is getting out of the starting blocks and applying what you have learnt.  Most likley you will not feel like anything you have learnt is making any difference.  But you have to keep trying.

That’s where the amazing power of personal development comes in.

It starts to work when you keep trying. keep going, keep moving towards your goal. In Psycho Cybernetics Maxwell Maltz talks about how success is about adjusting as you go along.  It’s not always a straight path to your goal.  In fact I have never met a success person who had an easy time achieving their dreams and goals.  And that’s part of the secret.  It’s the journey that makes as change.  Not the information we take in.

As you go along the journey you will find many things change.  Not just you but the world and people around you.   I am going to write an article about what happens when you start on your journey so keep looking for that!

The Personal Development industry is very much misunderstood.  It’s not about just ‘thinking yourself rich’ (although using visualisation is very powerful) it’s about doing the work and learning along the way.

Books will open your eyes, they will give you things to work on.  They will perhaps explain feelings you have had but didn’t really know why.  They are tools not the answer to your success.  You have to want to work hard for yourself and use these tools as you go.

So where should I begin?

Well, if you haven’t read any books yet or want to know what books to read then you can read my post about the Top 10 personal development books.

You can also go to Amazon and type in ‘personal development’ as a search and see what is suggested.  What ever you do I would encourage you to read many books before you make a decision about what works for you.

There is always a nugget of information in each book so keep reading.

It would be great to hear what books have made an impact on your life.  What have you read?  What did you think is a great book?

Go for your dreams!
Matt

Personal Development – What is that?

Although I think the the answer is probably very subjective and open to interpretation I will do my best to give you an answer that I think is accurate.  It will, if anything, be my interpretation.

I have been thinking about this for a while.  “Just what is Personal Development?”.  I mean what does it actually do for you?  We could look at that question and give a relatively simply answer: -

“Personal Development is any process, teaching or experience that improves us in many ways.  Ultimately creating a better person”  or as Wikipedia states: -

Personal development for individuals refers to actions oriented towards one or more of the following aims:

• improving self awareness
• improving self knowledge
• building or renewing identity
• developing strengths or talents
• identifying or improving potential
• building employ ability or human capital
• enhancing lifestyle or the quality of life
• realizing dreams
• Fulfilling aspirations

But there in is the challenge.  How can we quantify what ‘improves’ means.  Or looking at Wikipedia how can we be certain that is the full list of what encompasses Personal Development?

I am not so sure we can, just like we can try to ‘explain’ what Love is but really we all have different answers to that.  We know how it feels and we THINK we feel about like others do but really we can never really know.

You might have read this before – “Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy dream”.  That might be a good place to start when looking at Personal Development.  Earl Nightingale is considered the “Father” of all personal development.

He created an audio track on Vinyl called “The Strangest Secret”.  If you have not heard this I RECOMMEND you get a copy!  It is excellent.  That was the first ever recorded Personal Development message.  It was a huge hit and changed the lives of millions of people.

Earl talked mainly about achieving more in life.  About getting ahead in an world full of opportunities.

And I think that might be where the answer is.

Perhaps Personal Development can be accepted as anything that helps you in life.  It could be a book about selling, a CD on relationships or even a meeting with someone who makes you feel empowered.  Whatever gets you to move towards your goals.

Perhaps even it’s a book that helps you set goals!

There is also an excellent book called the Magic of Thinking Big by Dr David Schwartz. You can see my view of that book here.

So is there an a way we can define this?  Most likely but I think to do that would confine Personal Development and that’s exactly what it is trying to help us avoid.

Personal Development as an object is focused on helping us expand and realise our goals and dreams.

If you are reading this it would be good to get some thoughts.  What do you think?

Regards

Matt

How Not to be Successful or “Why am I not successful?”

So I have been thinking a lot recently about success and what it tales to be successful.  You will probably know that there is loads of information out there about how to be succesful.

Almost any author in the personal development or self help industry has written about this.  You can pick up some great information from these and I would suggest getting your hands on as many books as you can!  That is, if you are looking to be successful.

Read more

Is it possible to use your mind to lose weight?

It’s an interesting queston to ask.  I noticed that in the press, tv etc there are lots of articles recently about this very topic.  The UK hypnotist, Paul McKenna has a TV programe and book about this.  You can get the book from Amazon at the link below.  I have not read it so I have no view it just yet!

Based on Paul’s background I would say his techniques use NLP – Neuro linguistic programming.

That aside, I do fimly know (not believe!) that you can use your mind (subconcious) to lose weight or do whatever else you want!  Recently I wrote an article about this process.  I thought you might like to see an extract from it.

To your success.

M

How to increase your mind power and lose weight

It is possible to increase the capacity at which your mind works. How on earth can I do that!?

Well actually it’s not as complicated as it might seem. There are many ways in which you can do this. Typically they fall into two areas: -

• Training
• Imagination – Theatre of Your mind – Subconscious

Training

Training the brain is what most people think of when trying to increase your brain capacity. Why? Well probably because it’s agreed that training the body gets you fitter so it easy to see that training the brain gets your brain “fitter”.

Based on the advert for the Nintendo “Brain Training” that must be true!

I personally don’t know how much this helps the brain. I don’t have any facts or data to support the effects of giving your brain a workout. I do know however that I feel like my brain is improving the more complex tasks I give it all the time.

Imagination – Theatre of Your Mind – Subconscious

Why have I given this section more than one title? Well mainly because this technique to improve your mind is often called each of the above. There is even another title this goes under – the infinite universe or infinite wisdom.

I can’t even recall how many very well known authors and speakers talk about this. Almost any book you read on personal development or achieving or life talks about this power. Anthony Robbins, Maxwell Maltz, Zig Ziglar, Napoleon Hill, Deepak Chopra to name a few all talk about this. If you have seen The Secret by Rhonda Byrne then you know what this is about!

It is believed by many (including me) there is an infinite wisdom in the universe. Call it whatever you like but essentially it’s there for all of us to tap into. It’s a river of information, ideas, dreams, goals and knowledge that has always been there.

No I know at this point you might be thinking I have gone a little crazy? Well maybe….or maybe you already know this information but just in a different way. Let’s look at it in a more scientific way.

Medicine and Science now know (admit?!) that the subconscious mind is an incredibly powerful tool. Interestingly research now suggests that the conscious mind is very basic in it’s operation. It does some very complex tasks but in an ordered way. It doesn’t necessarily “think”. The subconscious mind in the other hand is thinking all the time on a consistent basis.

What is the subconscious mind thinking about? Well whatever you tell it to!

The subconscious is an automated tool, it will think about topics you give it, day and night. So if you give it negative things to think about then that is what it will work on. If you give it positive challenges to think about then that is exactly what it will go about doing. It is just like a computer, VERY powerful but will work on the things you give it to work on.

When this power can be realised then you can put it to use in anything you want. Let’s have a look at some examples.

Perhaps you want to lose weight

So typically when we want to lose weight we think about how fat we are. How much our clothes feel tight and how bad we are at eating the things that make us fat. That is just strange when you think about it. Why would we think about what we don’t want rather than what we do want?

Unfortunately as we grow up we don’t learn how to use our mind correctly. It is not a subject taught at school.

So the aim here to get your subconscious working on the things you do want. Instead of always thinking about how tight your clothes are start thinking how slim you feel and how you have lost lots of weight. Think about how your body is burning fat day and night and that you only eat healthy foods.

What does this do? Well it gets your subconscious to think like that day and night. So the next time you are in the situation where you could eat something that you know you should not, your subconscious will be there to help you and say “OK, look you only eat healthy food. That is not healthy”.

This is only a simple example but the principal of how this works can be used for anything in your life. Write down 5 things you would like to change in your life and then start giving your subconscious positive words, comments and thoughts about those changes. Try it and see what happens!