What? me a grumpy old man?

Ok, I am 33 years of age.  Am I a grumpy old man?  I can’t be can I?

(Internal chat “I think you are you know.  Actually I sort of know you are.  Here you are sat on a Friday evening, with a glass of wine, getting worried about the teenager who has been left home alone by his mother)

Err, when did this happen?  It hasn’t right?

Let me put you in the picture.  It is Friday night.  My wife is on the phone to a friend and I am sat here on the computer watching the tennis on the TV.  Well listening to it and then looking around from time to time.

My neighbour has gone away and has left her 16 old son to be on his own in the house.  Problem?  Well no I guess you could say.

But there is some background to this.

He has had some parties that I have had to go and sort out.  Don’t get me wrong, nothing that bad happened.  Maybe lots of noise, kids being crazy, throwing eggs at the neighbours, using swear words like they were the only things in the english language but nothing that needed the Police.  But if I am completely honest it annoyed me all the same.

I have read personal development books till the cows come home.  I have listened to hours of personal development, spiritual, NLP, self help, mediation and personal growth MP3’s that I bet Anthony Robbins would be proud!

But and here is the but……it still annoys me that this kid might have some friends around and make my Friday evening not so nice.

Let me be clear.  He is a really good kid!  Sure like any teenager he is a little rough around the edges but he is a good kid and we get on really well.  I am also friends with his mum.

Ok, so what I can’t work out is why does it annoy me so much?  I mean I was much worse at his age.  Actually this is more about me.

My wife doesn’t even think about it.  But I was worried all day yesterday that I would have to go and sort out the problem that was going to happen.  That is just silly.  I mean why worry about something like that?  It hasn’t even taken place.

And I think that is the key here.  Even though I have read all this personal development stuff, practised it, applied it I still have moments when my brain forgets all that and the conditioning takes control.

What conditioning?  The social conditioning that underlines all of us.  It’s the thing we go back to when under pressure, stressed or unhappy.  It is the true self.  And this annoys me more than anything.

Now I am annoyed that I am annoyed.

I don’t want my true self to me like that.  I want it to be calm, cool.  I want to be able to rely on a cool me that can manage any of this.

But clearly I am not there yet.

But I shouldn’t be annoyed.  That won’t help.  What I need to do is work on the things that I know help me become more like I want to be.

meditation, fitness, reading, learning, gratitude

These are the things that bring closer to the man I want to be.  I don’t want to be a grumpy old man at 33!

If you are finding some stress in your life (perhaps you are becoming a grumpy old man or woman?) then you might need to do what I need to do.  That is, do more of the things that you know will bring you to the centre of you.

The more you do this the more you will feel relaxed with yourself and easy going.  Those of have nothing to prove…..have nothing to prove!  And that is how I want to be.

It doesn’t mean being so laid back you get nothing done in life.  Actually I am far from that!  But it means that you can sit outside and watch birds and be fascinated by them.  Or you are completely at ease when you meet new people in business.  Even if the person is the “big guy” in the industry and earns a lot of money.  He or she is just human.  So why treat them any other way?

So this is my promise to you and myself that I will try not to be such a grumpy old man.  I will ask my wife to write a comment on this and see what she says!

Go for your goals and dreams.

M