What is the Ego? And how your Ego is stoping you achieving what you want

Your Ego is not you. That is to say that, it isn’t the person you call yourself, me or I. So what is it? Well that depends. It depends on who you talk to.

If someone says “Oh they have an ego about it, I wouldn’t worry about asking them” What they are missing is that we all have an ego. Most of us do anyway, apart from those very enlightened people who are just being.

Unless you are able to sit on a rock in a beautiful park by a stream and meditate all day long chances are your ego is affecting what you do on a daily basis.

So then what is it?

Well it is the projected you. The projection of the person you believe yourself to be. “I am a technical person, I am a businesswoman, I am a salesperson”. Any label you choose. It goes further than that. “I am the type of person that…” Using the words “I”, “am” is ego speaking. It is the vision of who you think you are rather than the real you.

Sigmund Freud said we have the Ego – the balance mediator, Super Ego – Conscience and ID – Uncontrolled Energy.

An Ego has been created since you were born and you could say before. The lifestyle you were born into can affect your ego. “I am a white male” is also a label. It means something. It gives people something to gauge you by.

If I am not my Ego what am I then?

You are a living being. You are a consciousness of life. Of the energy and field of opportunity. A few Quantum Physicists would say “You are the consciousness that creates your world” I think that is true to a point. Really though I think I am the consciousness that creates my little bit of the world in the big field all of us are creating.

Is it possible that the world I see is entirely made up of my consciousness? Well then what about you? What about your consciousness? I believe that we are all responsible for the world we all see. What we do in our bit makes up the entire picture.

This is the “connected world”. To give you an illustration. If we were to stand together and hold up a large sheet above our heads then let it rest on us we would be connected with the sheet. The sheet is the field of possibilities and we are the consciousness that is affecting it. The other example is the the film The Matrix. At the end of that film Neo is shot and “dies”. Well he doesn’t actually die. He “wakes up” and can see the world for what it really is.  Just a field of numbers.  He sees the Agents (bad guys) as numbers also and from that moment is not affected by his Ego of what reality is. If you have not seen the film this might not make sense to you. I suggest you watch it. It is actually a great film based on some amazing concepts. I am not sure about the sequels……

The trouble with the Ego mind

The Egoic mind gives us so many of the things we don’t want in our life. Sadness, unhappiness, anger. All of these come from the Egoic mind. “I am angry because she said this to me”. Why? Why are you angry? So what if she said this or that. That is her problem right?

It is yes. Now I am sat here writing this knowing that I am not the perfect human being! I am just like the rest of them out there. I get angry, unhappy. But I know that when I am doing this it comes from the Ego not from who I really am. Life is a lot easier when you know that your feelings come from something that isn’t really you.

Let me give you an example

You are driving in your car and someone gets angry with you because you didn’t give them the right of way. They pull up next to you and shout. Now, what or who are they actually shouting at? And also who is actually shouting? Is it the person in the car, the physical body? It is the Ego that makes that person up? Or is it the real being? I would say it is the Ego of the being who is shouting at you. The real being wouldn’t shout. They wouldn’t even think to do that because they wouldn’t be thinking.

Do you see what I mean?

When your Ego is challenged that is what you feel. “She said this”, “He said that” is all coming from the Ego. If someone came to me and said “You are stupid” I would like to think that my reaction would be “Yes, sometimes I am”. They are right, sometimes I am! But what I might do is say to myself “Who is this to tell me I am stupid?”

That is my Ego speaking and using my label to defend my label. It is holding onto something that isn’t actually me.

When I used to sell software I made some good money. I was 25 and earning a lot more than any of my friends. Then I was a “software salesperson earning money” I could go out all the time, buy nice things, clothes, electrical items, toys etc. Then I started my own business and put over £100,000 into this. I then became a very un wealthy entrepreneur!

So if someone had come up to me at that point and said, “You are a terrible software sales person”. I would have probably agreed. I didn’t care. I was running my own business. In fact I didn’t care what anyone thought as I was doing something I wanted to do. But if they said that when I was earning money as a software sales guy then I would have taken offence.

The point is this. We work based on our Ego’s and what label we are.

So what can we do about it?

Well I don’t think we have to give up being something. It would be easy just to say “Ok now I am just being, I am not anything” But by saying that you are suggesting you are “anything”. So I think one of the great things we can do is just start to see where we are speaking from. Speaking from your real being or your Ego.

if you live from your real you and not your Ego it is ealier. The more you do this the easier it is. The more you find yourself acting from the real you and not your Ego. You don’t tend to get so upset or angry.

To see a great example of this just look at animals. They don’t have Ego’s. They just live for the now as a being. That is why animals love you. They don’t have an ego in the way.  If you love them they will love you. Animals feel pain like we do and share so much with us but they don’t have an Ego. Next time you look at your pet just look them in the eyes and ask them if they love you. Then tell them you love them and mean it from your heart. You will see what I mean when you do this.

If you really want to get into the Ego mind a great book to read is “Awakening to your Life’s Purpose” By Eckhart Tolle. Eckhart is one of the best authors on this subject.

How the Ego mind holds you back in achieving anything you want

If you want to achieve something in your life often you have to be different and make some changes. In order to make some changes you have to be prepared to not worry about a label.  If you worry about your label you won’t want to change anything.  You will be stuck.

Change requires you not to worry about what you are and what you want to be.  You have to let go of that and just change.  If you have a label then change is probably not going to happen.

Be free from your Ego!

Matt