How do I increase my confidence?

If you are in personal development or involved in the industry most people think you should be really confident.

Well I understand that, but I am happy to tell you that is not the case at all! In fact I know people who work in the speaking, teaching etc industry that are not that confident.  They are personally developed but they are not confident.  The funny thing is you wouldn’t be able to tell.  And that is the secret to being confident.

Let’s look at this.

Not being confident can come from many things.  Really too many for me to mention but what we can say is most people have felt a lack of confidence at some time in their life.  We all have right?  Even those super confident amazing people who never seem to worry what others say about them. Swines (joke).

It is a fact.  You may have heard famous people when interviewed say “If you stop feeling nervous before you go on stage, then stop going on stage”.

I think that is a great.  Because it shows that wherever a person is in life they can feel a distinct lack of confidence.  But really this isn’t real confidence.

Confidence comes from knowing who you are, what you are about and where you are in life.  That is all it is.

When I go into a meeting sometimes I am not that confident.  It doesn’t mean I am not a confident person!  It’s not about the one particular meeting but rather how you deal with yourself and people all the time.

So how do you increase confidence?

Practice.  That is it.  Just start by doing the things that you don’t feel confident about.  Let’s say you are not a confident person when meeting new people.  Well the most negative thing you can do is never meet new people!  I mean it.

I know it isn’t easy just to do what I said, but that’s what will help.

You don’t have to go full on with this to start with.  Just start.  Maybe just make a habit of going to a social event or a business networking meeting and introducing yourself to one person.  That might sound hard for you but once you have done it you will be able to do it again!

It doesn’t matter what level of confidence you are at.  I have seen my very best friend go from someone who wouldn’t even look at people in the eye when they greeted him to one of the most outwardly going people I know.  He isn’t annoying, but just really friendly and kind and willing to chat to people he meets. He is also a great salesman although that is not his chosen career.

If you know this friend you would know how amazing the change has been.  How did he do it?  Well he started reading personal development books and making an effort to just look at people.  After a while he started to shake people’s hands and he got more confident.

You can do the same.

A great book to read on this is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  Click the link to see a video review of the book.

Read the book and see what happens!

Matt