Does using Personal Development in business make you soft?

Should I use what I know from Personal Development in business or will that make me weak?

My dealings in businesses have shown me some interesting things.  The thing I have noticed the most is the people I am working with.

I guess it is right to say I am a people person.  I am not the crazy party guy but I do love to meet new people and learn about them.  So in business I am always trying to understand why people do the things they do.  Maybe a little too much analysis.

What this means is that I tend to have a good understanding all the time.  So it comes as quite a shock when I meet someone who is a tough and aggressive business person.

You know the sort I mean.

The first meeting they are right into asking you all the tough questions.  They want to know why you didn’t do this, or why you haven’t thought about that.  They may even be the loud person in the meeting or even be aggressive.

Now I am not a submissive in business. That is not what I am saying.  But I am certainly not like these people who feel that all you have to do in business is make other people feel inadequate.

The truth of this?

It’s these people who have the problem.  Often they are very self conscious or have a bad self image.

If the goal of a meeting is to beat people down then I could do that all day long.  I have the skills to do that.  Years of selling and being in meetings has given me the ability to put people in not very nice positions.

But I don’t do it.

Why?

Well it doesn’t do anything.  I can ask all the tough questions but I do it in a friendly way.  I am not perfect and have from time to time lost my cool but that is not the norm!

There is really no need to be aggressive in a meeting.  If you goal is to beat the other person down then I suggest you look at why you are doing this.

The Apprentice is a great example.  In that show Alan Sugar is a mean hard businessman.  He is always looking to make the apprentices feel like they have made a cock up and wants them to argue.

Has Alan Sugar been like this in business?  I would say no.  I am sure he is tough and is a great negotiator but I bet when you meet him he is a friendly guy.  He builds relationships, not enemies!

And that is the message.  Personal Development used in business is a great way to build relationships.  As they say “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”.

In business if you use what you know from personal development then you will find yourself enjoying it more and having better businesses transactions.

You don’t need to be tough and aggressive.  Just confident and honest.

Matt