My sales experience started when I left the Army and got my first “real” job working in a computer reseller.  I was an account manager working with some major brands.

Basically I took orders over the phone and put them into an ordering system.  Not much selling there then!  But I did learn about what selling is and how to do it badly.

When I realised that in order to make a lot of money at this company you had to be the CEO I left and looked for a new job.  It didn’t really matter that I left before I had a new job as I was still living at home!

So, after going to many interviews I met this guy who was starting up an office in London for an American startup business.  They had some cool new software that was in the Portal market.  At the time when you said “We develop portal” software investors gave you money.

The Manager who was starting London had done a couple of years in the Royal Artillery so we had something to talk about and I think he thought I must have been OK as I had been the in Army also.  Something I don’t tell anyone is that I did take and pass some of the MCSC exams (techie) when I left the Army.  I think he also like that!

For some reason he hired me on as a Junior Account manager to support the clients we had in London and Europe.  During this time I also made tea, managed clients, wired up the office network and basically did everything he couldn’t do.

The strange thing was I had another boss in the States.  Her name was Max, she was head of client support.  I didn’t learn that much from Max about selling (mainly because that wasn’t her role) but I did learn about managing clients and supporting them.  Really she is still the best person I know for this.  What she taught me was that you have to work above and beyond the clients need all the time.

So what about the sales?

Well it was a few months after I was hired that the manager hired in a “big gun” sales guy.  He was considered to be “proper” salesman who would go out and get the “big deals” and close business.

This is really where my sales training started.

Keith was a great salesman.  Completely different to what I thought he would be.   He didn’t go into meetings doing some big presentation.  Instead he sit down and draw things out on bits paper over a tea or coffee.  He was intense but friendly and would rather listen than talk.

How different from my perception of what a good salesman should be!

The funny thing is I only had to look to my mother to know what a good salesperson is….more on that below!

Keith and I sold software all over Europe together.  Mainly me sitting in the meetings listening to what was going on and doing some demonstrations when Keith needed it.  Over time he let me speak more and I started to sell.

Not only did he teach me about selling to customers he also taught me about selling to your own company.  I remember once Keith said that before you go into a meeting for a review for pay always have an industry magazine open on your desk at the recruitment section…just so your boss thinks you are always looking at better jobs!

Was Keith the best?  He was good.  Do I sell like him?  No not really but he taught me the basics of selling that I will always use.  He was a great salesman and a good guy.

So forward 10 years and I have sold many different products and services.  I have sold products, software, services and ideas.  Over this period my style has changed completely.  I am not sure I even “sell” anymore.  At least I don’t even think about it.

How do we sell today?

Today selling is different.  Gone are the days when you went to a potential client and did some amazing presentation and just kept on going until they final bought what you have.  That still goes on but it’s not what the great salespeople are doing.

Great salespeople and successful business people know that you have to give people what they want.  Zig Ziglar said “If you give enough people what they want you will get anything you want”

That’a a great saying.

Just think about that.  If you can find out what people want then you can provide that and sell.

It’s a simple concept and many people will know this already.  You might be reading this post thinking “Yeah Matt, I know this already, it’s in so many of the book and courses I have read and been on”

Yes that is true. This is not a secret.  Even big companies teach this now to thier salespeople that it’s become annoying.  Instead of selling they just want to help, to ask questions and basically piss you off!

And this is the key to all of this!

We might know some method of selling that we have been taught in a course or book or CD but that is useless if we don’t know how to communicate with people.  If you can’t build a realaltionship with them then it doesn’t matter what you know.

The best people I know in business and life have the best personal development skills.  They can communicate with people and make other people feel comfortable and relaxed.

That’s what Keith did.  He made people feel like they were just having a chat and once you get them to that then they are open to looking at your product.  Remember if you are selling then people naturally don’t want to buy.

They might want the product but they don’t want to buy.

I am not saying that you need to be a question machine – Don’t start asking loads of questions.  You need to just build a relationship with people and let them come to you.

So do I always just stand back and let them do all the work?

NO! NO! NO! NO!

Actually I am fairly direct and like to get to the bit about what they want.  But I do listen and I come from a position of understanding their problem. I am open, relaxed and direct about what I can do and how I can help.

Should I read Sales books then?

Yeah why not.  It’s not a bad idea to learn some of these methods.  But what is really going to change your selling is reading Personal Development books.

Reading Personal Development books will change the way you sell.  You will also change your life in so many ways but I don’t want to talk about that.

The more you read of these books the more you will learn how to relate to people.  As I said, this isn’t about being some weird question robot that is trying to build a relationship.  It’s about really being comfortable and making the other person feel relaxed with you.

Don’t try hard! If you are trying you have probably missed the point.

If you can only read one Personal Dev book then read How to Win Friends and Influence people.

If you can read more take a look at my list here.  Top 10 Personal Development Books.

I know that there are many people who say that you need to learn Spin Selling and other methods but really you don’t.  You just need to have a natural want to help people.

My mother is one of those people.  She is one of the best sales people I know.   Yet if you met her you would think she is just a really pleasant person.  She isn’t pushy or over friendly but she can sell.  Why?  Because she knows how to make people feel comfortable, she can get you to feel relaxed and relates to you.

If you can do this you can sell.

Don’t worry about selling, just focus being relatable and helpful.

Matt

Related posts:

1. Personal Development that works for you
2. Personal Development has sold me millions
3. I want to be a salesperson. What do I do?

That in turn means that they are useless!  Unless you use, let’s say a goal technique. then it’s useless.  That’s why I think technique or tool you use should be simple.

I found this great article from Steve Peters.  Let me know what you think!

How to improve your life forever

Have you always wanted something ? Have you always felt that something was missing but you didn’t know what ? Have you aimed for goals and fallen short. Like many of us you have probably fallen into a depressive slump and given up any hope of improving your life. The subject of self improvement is a vast one, and there are many things to learn. Yet, it is those first early steps that give the most back and provide the most improvement to our lives. Therefore, it is important to start out with a technique that gives you the best grounding to work from and will be fairly easy to master. If someone offered you such a system, would you follow it through or abandon it half way ?

The power of positive thinking is something that is widely known, although often forgotten about. Apparently depressive people see the world in a much more realistic way when considering the present. An optimist does not have a realistic view. Where the depressive looes is the point at which they take their depressive view of ‘today’ and expand it out to the future. A depressive creates an uncompelling view of the future – one in which they make reasonable demands and expect a large amount of disappointment. Like a self fulfilling prophecy they are usually right.

The optimist, using techniques for positive thinking, sees the potential in everything. He creates a compelling future that drives him forward and provides motivation. He gives himself clear, inspiring goals and desires that fuel his actions. He is stretched by the challenges of what the depressive would call ‘ unrealistic goals’. This challenge forces growth, a key factor in true happiness, further empowering the optimist on towards his goals. When he does get beaten, he realises that he is merely being told ‘try again but be more inventive’. Fueled by his imagination, the optimist creates his own future.

As we can see the power of positive thinking is a valuable tool, one which can be used to change lives and make dreams reality. Yet, as with many things, there are surprisingly few basic, down to earth practical sources of information on how to master positive thinking. I am sure you do not want to be without the advantages it can bring and no doubt you have encountered, vague, imprecise guidelines to positive thinking that you have quickly abandoned. For those who feel that they can stick to four basic principles for at least a year they will be astounded at the changes that such simple techniques can bring. I now present to you the four basic principles of positive thinking:

1) You are not your personality.

Your personality is not you. You were probably different as a child than you are today. Sure, there will be a kernel of similarity, but much of what you do, day to day, is not your personality, even though you may call it that. Instead, your so-called personality is a collection of habits formed out of experiences as a defence mechanism for coping with day to day life. Your imagined personality can hold you back in life because it defines what you will do and what you are unwilling or incapable of doing. A woman may feel she cannot be an effective public speaker because she has been shy all her life. This is simply not true, she merely needs to learn what makes an effective public speaker and adopt those mannerisms herself.

To be truly effective in terms of positive thinking you must accept the notion, that whatever age you are, you are not a fixed concept. You can be what you want to be. OFten we want to do things that seem at odds with what we feel comfortable with. We tell ourselves that we could never go skydiving or such like. These contrary desires are so important. You should take hold of them and make them reality. They are your mind’s way of trying to increase its exposure to new things, to break out of the prison you call personality.

Today, pick one thing that you have never done but have always been curious about. Make a list of a months worth of activities that you feel you may not be capable of. Run a marathon, join the local drama club, spend a whole day outdoors without checking in with the office. You will be amazed at how empowered you feel – and it will give you further motivation to push back your so called identity.

2) Learn how to motivate yourself.

Many of us feel that we are at the whim of the day. On a good day we will do well, and on a bad day we will be unmotivated, will procrastinate and achieve little. You must accept the concept that your day is yours to control, you are at the whim of circumstance only in so much as you choose to respond to circumstance. Planning ahead, can provide security through contingency plans to deal with the so called unexpected. For those issues that keep coming up, see if there is a way to solve them permanently. Once you have reduced circumstance as much as possible you must then identify the next largest area of de motivation.

For many of us, particularly those new to self improvement, our emotions are what control our day. Or rather, our lack of ability to direct our own feelings. Motivation comes from knowing we have a task that will challenge us, is not insurmountable, and will provide a valuable outcome. By ensuring all of your major tasks fit into these categories you will help to unleash the motivation found within your daily activities.

Secondly, arrange your office in such a way as to cut down on distractions. Have a ready supply of water nearby, fresh pens and pencils and paper. Ensure that there as few distractions as possible. Once you have done this, you can focus on ways to improve your own mood – perhaps have a play list of your favourite uplifting songs. Have a to do list of your day’s tasks, that are prioritised, and tick them off as you progress though them. Having a written record of your completions is a great way to build confidence in being able to finish tasks.

Once you can plan work for the day ahead and use the power of those tasks to motivate yourself you will feel much more in control in your work environment. This extra security will help build your self confidence and help you to see things more positively.

Make a list of tasks today and see how you can drive your motivation.

3) Be confident of who you are becoming.

Sometimes people may ,knowingly or unknowingly, put you down. They may make you feel self conscious about your spelling, your weight or your lack of confidence. At the time these insult may sting and cause deep pain and ruin your day or maybe even longer. They lower your perception of your own self worth and cause a negative spiral that sabotages any positive thinking. Rather than focus on why the other person did what they did, I would like you not to be a victim and to focus on something else. Being a victim can never ever create a positive outcome. It embodies feelings of helplessness and being subject to the whims of others. If there is any way that you can avoid feelings of victim hood and use the criticism in a positive way you should.

You are probably thinking – thats easy to say – but what is positive about being called ‘insert insult’. I think that you should use such criticism as fuel, fuel to prove the other person wrong – to understand that who you are today doesn’t have to be who you are tomorrow, or next week or next year.

If you yourself are unhappy with what they criticised, then decide if now is the time to do something about it, and to dwarf the critical negative person with the strength of your own personal power. People who criticise often love to feel that you will always be whatever be afflicted by whatever problem they perceive or ‘want to perceive’. If you can change it shows to yourself and to the world that you can become whatever you want to be. Don’t let others or yourself define you a static unchanging being who will always be burdened with the same afflictions.

4) Create the future – commit to yourself.

Imagine its a month from now. You have worked on the three ideas above and are seeing results. Now that you are learning to tackle you own problems, can motivate yourself to an extent and can push your own boundaries – its time to create your own future. A future that is so far from where you were a month ago, or even today, that to contemplate it before would have been unthinkable. Perhaps you would like to be a model, lose weight, or greatly increase your income. Maybe you want to walk the stage of some famous theatre, or begin an acting career. Look twenty years in the future, and decide where you would like to be, regardless of feasibility, or outrageousness. Then fix this vision into concrete statements, such as I will weight twenty pounds less, or I will drive an Aston Martin.

Now take these facts and visualise in your mind a scene, which illustrates all of these things. Imagine your future self in the scene, looking radiant and happy. Now make the image bigger, and the colours brighter, smile to yourself, and press your thumb and forefinger together. Do this visualisation technique every day, as many times as you remember to. Always press together your thumb and finger as you smile and imagine yourself stepping into the image and it coming to life. By doing this, we are anchoring your desire for the future to a physical action. From this point on, whenever you feel insecure or demotivated, press your thumb and forefinger together and you will get a surge of energy and happiness.

The next step is to plan out how you will achieve you goals over the coming months and weeks and years. Take a look at when you want to achieve your goal and then step backwards adding key points that will mark your progress. These point should contain sub goals that will help bring your major goal to life.

If you follow these four simple steps, and repeat them day in day out, for a month, you will rapidly begin to see changes in your life. When I did these things myself several years ago, I began to see changes in my life that were for the better. Bizarrely, I did not associate these positive changes with the daily actions I was taking. Looking back, it was the daily repetition of the above tasks that really helped turn my life around.

If you can master these techniques for positive thinking then you will have gone a long way to creating the life that your want !

Written by Steve Peters, the controversial success blogger: http://www.stevesgoal.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Peter

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1. Positive Personality Profiles
2. From Dream to Reality: The Power of Goal Setting
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Recently I have had to forgive myself and other people.  When I say forgive I don’t mean that I had to let them off the hook for anything.  What I mean is that I had to work out in my own thoughts why I was not angry or frustrated with them anymore.  I had to honestly forgive them.  I hope this makes sense?

Why I say that “I had to work out” I mean that I had to think about why they had frustrated me in the first place.  Why did their actions annoy me?  Once I realised this I could forgive them.  I won’t go into what they did or what has been occurring because that is personal but I will say that if I did list it out you might be surprised.  Surprised that I am giving them forgiveness.

But, here is the truth to all of what I am saying.

I am being selfish in a way.  The forgiveness is really for me and not them.  If I can trully forgive them then I won’t feel any negative feelings.  It’s a self protection mechanism rather than just “doing what I know is correct”.

If I was as personally developed as I would like then I wouldn’t have felt negatively about the situation in the first place, but, I am human and I live so those feelings came to me.  I try and be in the “present” as much as possible but we can’t always be perfect! (and to do this is actually a mistake).

So why did I mention that I am being selfish?

Well, true forgiveness brings us closer to our true self.  It’s another step towards reality, to consciousness.  To the one.

There is an amazing book called I’m Ok You’re OK.  If you have not read this book then I really do recommend that you read it.  It’s probably one of the best books I have read and is in my top personal development books.  This book is amazing because it shows you how we react to certain people in situations.  We are in either Parent, Adult or Child mode and this affects our relationships.  I won’t go into this now but it’s a very powerful thought process to understand.

This isn’t a magic potion to cure all the challenges you have but it helps to understand why you might feel angry or upset about a person or something they have done.

When you realise that forgiving is about understanding then you really get the feeling of forgiveness.  I know that sentence is convoluted but it’s really the way it is.

Once you understand why you are angry or upset then you can start to forgive in a way you have never felt before.  As I said before this isn’t about forgiving the person for what they have done but realising why they did it and forgiving yourself for feeling the way you do.

You can feel anyway you want to other people’s actions but it’s only you who has that control.  They don’t.  You control your feelings and should always be aware of this.  It’s about personal responsibility.  No one can make you annoyed, you can only let yourself feel that way.  I know some will be reading this and saying “No, when someone says this to me then it’s going to annoy me”  Well again, I would say that’s your feeling.  It’s how you react to what they say.  You could choose not to get upset.

We are always in control.  It’s our choice and we have all the cards about how we want to deal with people.

That is why REAL forgiveness allows us to release ourselves and others from any judgement.  When we get to this stage then forgiveness provides an amazing world that gives us huge fulfilment.

Not so sure?

Well it’s a leap you are going to have to make if you want to grow.  I know if you still reading then you want to make that leap.  You can, it’s within your reach you just need to believe you can.  It can be very hard to believe you can forgive the person for what they have done but when you look at it in the other way then you can.  You are not forgiving the person but the feeling about it.

Some people I know would say this is all hocus pocus rubbish.  Spiritual dross that works only in the “personal development world”.

Well I agree.  That is probably due to the fact that in the personal development world people work hard on their mindset ability.  They are looking to improve themselves so go for things like “belief”.  It’s a state of mind and that’s exactly the reason you can take a hold of your feelings.

The more you learn to hoestly forgive the more you don’t get annoyed in the first place.  It’s alomst like you are watching yourself in a situation and you say: -

“Hmm, they are annoying me now.  That’s interesting, why I am being annoyed by them?  Perhaps I should think about that rather than what they are saying!”

I know that may seem a little odd at first but it’s incredibly powerful when you start to “watch” yourself.  You become more in the present and realise what is going on in your life.  This is also called “awareness” being aware of yourself.

If you have some challenges with people right now and you just can’t seem to find the words or thoughts or even willingness to forgive someone then perhaps you can try to forgive yourself first for the feelings you have.  See that you are not just forgiving the person but also why you were annoyed.  It’s your decision about how you react to what they do and say and make any choice about this you like.

Anger only eats away at you and makes you more unhappy.  As Yoda said “Anger leads to the dark side it will” (or something like that!).

When anger is with you try and see why.  Try to understand why you are angered and then decide what you want to feel.

This is not something that will happen straight away, it takes time and practice but you can achieve it faster than you may believe.

To your health, success and happiness.

Matt

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When I started reading Personal Development books and listening to audios I was always really keen to find out more about the power of the subconscious. I have heard about it but didn’t really know how it works or how it helps.

Well over the last few years I have come to realise using subliminal messages is one of the best things you can do to help yourself. Let me say that again, using the power of subliminal
messages can change your life.

So how does subliminal messages work?

Well we should probably look at some examples to explain the impact these have. Television is a good one to talk about. We have all probably heard about subliminal advertising.  This is when messages are “hidden” in an advertisement.

An example would be while you are watching an advert for a holiday within the the frames of the advert would be frames of food and the name of the restaurant.  This would be advertising a restaurant.  They would only put in 1 frame every 100 or so.  This means thats that you don’t consciously “see” the ad but subconsciously you are seeing it and you start to think “You know what, I think we should go to that restaurant tonight”.

I believe that this type of advertising is no longer allowed.  But, and it’s a big but it still goes on just in a different way.

Why do all the big brands still advertise on TV?  Why do they have big ads up on the streets?  Because they want you to remember their product each time you go into a store to buy something.  What brands don’t do is advertise once and then hope you buy their product again.

Actually this is a big misunderstanding.  Many of us think that brands advertise to get NEW customers when in actual fact they are also trying to keep their existing customers!

They are trying to make our subconscious remember their brand.

If you look at breakfast adverts for low fat cereals.  Do they use an actor or actress who is overweight or considered not very attractive?  NO!  They use a very attractive, slim actress.

Even the music is designed to make us remember.  Can you think of a tune from an advert right now?  I bet you can.

Ok so we know subliminal messages work but how can they help?

Well that’s a good question.  Some of the best and original books talked about how to do this.  Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich shows how you can use your subconscious to achieve what you want in life.  Maxwell Maltz in Psycho Cybernetics talks extensivly about how to use your subconscious to get what you want out of life.

Actually if you are reading this I would suggest getting a copy of both books.

We can use subliminal messages to “re programme” our minds to believe and achieve anything we want.  As both men say, you will never achieve anything unless you believe it first.

NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming has help shape this technique to be used by many people.

When I say re programme many people ask “Does that mean Brain washing?”.  The honest answer is, yes, in a way it is.

But don’t be mistaken, we are “brain washed” each day by our environment.  What you can do is use this to help you get what you want in life.

One of the best ways to give yourself the right subliminal messages is through audio and visual.  Once you know what you want in life and what your goals are you can start to input this into your brain and let the power of your subconscious mind work for you.

What do I mean let your subconscious mind work for you?

Well this is a very powerful mechanism we have.  We really have all we need to succeed inside but often we don’t let it do what it can for us.

When I have a problem or challenge in life I tend to let my subconscious work it out for me.  Obviously there are moments when I worry about it but I try to forget it and let the solution come to me.  Normally this means thinking about the problem or challenge before I go to bed.  Most of the time the answer will come to me in the morning or later that day.

I know that sounds a little bizarre but you have probably experienced that feeling when you suddenly think of a way to do something but you were not actually thinking about the problem?  It’s the EUREKA moment and it’s probably the most powerful tool we have.

If you input subliminal messages into your brain that are supporting your goals and dreams then you are going to be helping yourself get those much sooner.  What do I mean?

Well let’s say you want to be better at speaking with people at parties or in business situations.  Maybe you are a little shy or self conscious?

If you used a subliminal messages system such as Real Subliminal you could become very confident at speaking to people.  Real Subliminal provide already created subliminal audio products.  All you do is buy and download the audio and then listen to it.  Interestingly these use a certain type of message that is hidden in the sounds of waves.  Don’t worry you can see what is on the audio before you buy it!

In the example of speaking to people the subliminal message might be “I am confident when talking to new people” or “New people find me interesting to talk to”.

This message is looped over and over so your subconscious hears this and starts to believe it.  When you are next speaking to a stranger you don’t get that same feeling you had before.  Instead you feel confident and excited to find people to talk with!

Real Subliminal have many types of messages.  I have purchased a couple and they are excellent.  This link Real Subliminal will show you the whole range.

If you have not looked into using subliminal messages to help you then I would suggest giving it a look.

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Ever since reading the Magic of Thinking Big and Psycho Cybernetics I have believed in creating your own mvie of your mind about what you can achieve.

Looking at my past I think I already believed in this but didn’t know what it was when I played Rugby.  I would spend lots of time thinking about how I would score that great try or make that amazing tackle!  Well I was young!

Anyway, the film and book the Secret has done lots to show this type of idea to many people.  Now the guys from Mindmovies have made it even better for us!  Check out the video below.

Check Out Mind Movies

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